Ghosting: Rude, Un-Necessary and Cowardly

You Created the Monster. Only You Can Fix It.

We (women) get into our own heads and start overthinking certain situations. We text someone, we don’t hear back . . . and so, we text again.

If you are a man and you are not interested in a woman, you have to make it clear. You have to lay that shit on the line. This modern idea that “No response IS a response” is downright rude. Come on, guys—where are the manners your Momma’ taught you?

Think about it: If you text a friend and get no response, what do you do? It’s the exact same scenario. You try again in a few days. You assume maybe they were out of town, maybe they were busy with the family, maybe they were hunting or fishing, maybe they just missed the notification, or maybe they saw it during a hectic workday and forgot to reply later. There are a million maybes in that pile.

And women? Absolutely, we are thinking through every single one of those maybes too.

The Coward’s Way Out

I would love to know exactly where along the way men got it into their heads that it’s easier to “ghost” a woman’s text messages rather than laying it straight out on the line. You created this over-texting monster that you claim is our fault. If you would just come clean from the get-go and tell the truth, a woman would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you aren’t interested. Instead, you choose to be an effin’ coward about it.

Or, let’s say you do like talking to her, just not as much or as often as she wants to talk to you. Then use your words and say that! Try something like:

“I like you as a person and I enjoy our chats, but I just can’t text as often as you’d like. I have other obligations in my life right now.”

And if you like talking to her but have zero romantic interest, you can say it nicely:

“I think you’re great, but I don’t feel a romantic connection. I enjoy our text exchanges, but I can’t check in as often as you’d like.”

It is so incredibly simple, and yet you are making your lives so complicated.

Flip the Coin

Try doing it the old-fashioned way for a while. You might just find that the way human communication worked for hundreds of years actually still works—and women won’t walk around calling you an asshole. Because truly, ditching your manners to take the easy way out makes you a total coward.

If all else fails and she isn’t getting the hint, try flipping the coin.

Ask her: “Aren’t there guys who come on to you that you’re just not interested in? Well, see? There you go. I’m just not interested. End of story!”

If you try using your manners first and she still refuses to respect your boundaries, then blocking her number or ghosting becomes a valid last resort. But it should never be your first option.

Life might just become a lot less complicated for everyone if people just spoke the truth. Now, wouldn’t that be nice?

Peace.

~ JA

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